Sometimes when I get in my overthinking modes (which is often) I think about what other people are thinking. LOTS of thinking right? But what really scares me is that at the end of it – you never realllyyy know what that other person is thinking. You may think you know someone backwards and forwards, inside and out but when it comes down to it: do we ever really know anyone?

Now a take a second to think about this here. How many times have you told a person one thing, but were thinking something competely different. Or acted like you were listening, but in all actuality you were thinking about something completely irrelvant. We’ve all done it, so we’re all at fault. But what happens when the ‘faking’ it part, becomes more real and before you know it that person sitting across from you becomes a big fat lie. Would you ever really realize?

I like to believe that I would. I mean you go on believing that you know someone so well, you would at least notice when they start acting completely different right? But there are always those crazy stories that you hear on the news or are spread by gossip about a wife, a girlfriend, a husband, etc. etc. who lead double lives, who turn out to be a murderer or something you never expected. I mean are the people involved just that stupid or are they just overwhelming trusting? Or does it all come back to my original thought.. do we ever really know someone?

“You can never really know someone completely. That’s why it’s the most terrifying thing in the world, really—taking someone on faith, hoping they’ll take you on faith too. It’s such a precarious balance, It’s a wonder we do it at all. And yet..” – Libba Bray


Probably the most difficult thing about dealing with Lyme Disease, is learning how to manage everything else in your life. What do you do when everyone else is going on with their lives, but it feels like you’re forced to stay still? How do you stop the negativity from consuming you?

Luckily for me, I have been quite stubborn all my life so that helps in some ways. Unluckily for me, this has also made my progress much slower than it should have been. I refused to believe I had Lyme Disease (my levels were off the charts), I refused to take medicine (that would admit I was sick), I didn’t take my medicine properly (waste of time and money) and I threw temper tantrums when I had doctor visits in NY (what am I 5?!). Luckily, I have one person in my life who has ALWAYS cared about me and my health more than she cares about herself: my mother. I don’t tell her nearly enough how much I appreciate, love and am truly grateful for that woman because she honestly saved my life. I definitely not near 100% healthy, but without her I am certain I would be much worse off. [Thank you mom].

Yet there are some things moms just can’t do for you or can’t understand. How do you explain to all your friends and teachers that you just can’t move from your bed, not because you’re lazy but because simple activities make you too exhausted to even want to move. Weekend comes up.. party time! Do you tell people you aren’t drinking because of Lyme Disease or do you make up an excuse? How do you explain to your roommates the necessity of sleep or your little tics without coming off as a weirdo? Or even try explaining the process of your medicine?

Add a boyfriend into the picture. How do you manage your emotions when you don’t even understand why you’re having them yourself? How do you not get jealous that he isn’t sick, he can go out whenever, he gets to enjoy life when you feel like you can’t?

At times, you can feel so alone. No one understands the problems, unless they’re going through them. Nothing looks like it’s going to get better and you feel doomed to this life you don’t want or didn’t choose. But it is so so important that when all the negativity starts rising up, you have to stay positive.

That’s about where I am. It’s not easy, but what in life worth having really is? Positivity is the shining light at the end of a very dark tunnel. Instead of feeding into the ‘dark side’ of me, I immediately try and think of anything positive. I try and constantly surround myself with positive people and do things that make me happy. I love to laugh, dance and sing (what girl doesn’t). I am also obsessed with music lyrics and quotes. I hang them all over and when I am feeling down, I force myself to read them and remember there’s people who have it worse and that there’s more to life. I will get through this.


As an advertising major, technology is undeniably a major part of my life. As a kid of the 90’s.. it’s in my DNA, especially when it comes to social media. As a result, I guess I’m a bit biased towards the benefits of applications such as Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc. However, that’s not to say that they don’t have their faults.

The question of our generation: Is technology beneficial or a harmful? The argument could easily be made for either side. I mean lives have been saved due to the advancement of technology and that’s certainly an improvement in our society no? It is much easier to get in contact with people, educate yourself and express yourself with ever expanding internet. It has definitely worked in my benefit multiple times. In fact, two of my internships were landed solely through social media. I learned of a possible job opportunity through my ad club. Strangely enough, the girl who told informed me about it told me to tweet at the person I wanted to interview with. At first, I really didn’t think anything would come of it, but I figured I had nothing to lose. So I tweeted. Within 15 minutes I had a response, a person to email and a few more followers. By the next day I had a job. Following that internship, I landed another one through Twitter yet again. In addition to jobs, a good portion of my generation gets their news through social media. I mean it’s actually scary to see how far and how fast technology has developed in just my mere 21 years of existence. For example, I just recently saw this video: 3D PRINTER and was blown away. I mean I can’t even imagine breaking a part of my desk and just printing something to replace it within minutes. And yet, this is definitely happening in our future.

However, I fluctuate between not being able to live without my technology, to wanting to throw out every laptop, cell phone etc. that I own. Cell phones and technology in general have become ingrained in our lives to an almost scary extent. It is crazy to see that people can communicate behind the screen of cell phone or laptop, but fail to do so in person. Although I definitely fall victim to walking and texting but walking around campus see this…Untitled… sometimes gives me a serious reality check. Texting and driving accidents have gone way up. There are so many scams and horrible things happening due to the existence of the internet (Craigslist killer anyone?). People rely on technology so much that there is even a phobia of being out of contact with someone via mobile phone – nomophobia. I mean seriously?! In a recent British studied, out of 1,000 people surveyed 66% of people were afraid of losing or being separated from their phones. [Click to read more] People go so far as being willing to give up brushing their teeth for a week in order to have their precious iPhone. What does this really say about our society?

When the great minds of the past envisioned the future, I wonder if they imagined we would be this far or that we would be even further? Would they be disappointed with what our society has become or proud at the advancements we’ve made? Does every generation feel that things have changed so rapidly or are we becoming a insanely fast paced driven society? Or perhaps it’s always been like this and I was too naive to realize it. I am all for technology improving, as long as humanity and nature always come first. Take a look around every once and while, breathe in fresh air, appreciate the simplicities of life and maybe turn off the phone every once in awhile. Contrary to popular belief – it won’t actually kill you.

Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards – Aldous Huxley 


I have been telling myself for awhile that I would start a blog to help with recovery and the millions of thoughts that I constantly have floating around in my head. But I guess I put it off for so long because one: that would make me admit to myself that I am actually sick. And two: I could no longer use the excuse “I don’t have time”. But a series of events in my life have pushed me into a corner and I always liked to write so I’m hoping it will be therapeutic. So hey, here it goes. No time like the present.. cliche much?

I’m Jen. Last name saved for personal reasons.. but I’m sure there’s an easy way to find it out. I have Lyme Disease. I realize that this isn’t as shocking as saying I have cancer, especially since information about the disease is relatively unknown. To be honest, I barely know any of it. But that’s because of my refusal to admit that I’m actually sick and ‘not normal’, as I have done for so long with this disease. My mother is a wealth of knowledge as she has immersed herself in the subject ever since both of her kids got diagnosed. However, there are definitely times that I wish I did have cancer instead. But what sane person would really wish for something like that right? I read somewhere that if everyone through their problems in a pile, you would go to pick yours back out after seeing everyone else’s. Sometimes I wonder how accurate that truly is.

Anyway, I digress as I typically do. Lyme Disease is something that I have, which is not contagious (as many people surprisingly ask me). However, it is not something that I am trying to let consume me. I went undiagnosed for 8 years and as a result I have a rather long fight ahead of me. For about two years I jumped from treatment to treament, and while I am still trying to nail down the exact protocol, I am finally trying to be a little bit ahead of the disease rather than lagging behind. Unfortunately I have a lot of catching up to do.

Besides the whole disease part of me.. I am also an advertising student about to graduate. Exciting but also a little terrifying. Especially when everyone keeps telling you not to grow up! I have big dreams in my head, most fueled by movies and TV shows, and hope to really make a name for myself. I want to be memorable and wonderful. I know I’ll be leaving this world inevitably, but when I do I want to at least leave something great behind. In a good way – not the everyone knows you for all the wrong reasons way. I’m still trying to figure out exactly who I am and what I want out of life. So maybe this will chronicle my journey and I’ll eventually nail some parts of it. Here’s hoping.

“It will never rain roses: when we want to have more roses, we must plant more roses.” — George Eliot